Grady Toney......Final Tribute

In one sense, there is no death. The life of a soul on earth lasts long beyond his physical departure. You will always feel that life touching yours in many ways; that voice speaking to you, in the friends he shared himself with; that spirit looking out of other eyes and talking to you in the familiar things he touched, loved, and felt close to. He lives on in your life and in the lives of all that knew him.

Sharon Toney Michaud
Thank's for being here. Keith, Jeff, Leona, thank's for the kind words. Know Daddy's glad to see you all. So am I. Believe it of not, I have done some public speaking. This is not only the one I don't want to do, I couldn't bring myself to prepare for this until last night. So I've had no sleep. Daddy taught me well the fine art of procrastination. I remember last Saturday vividly. I was to come spend the weekend with him that morning when Shelly called. Of course that call was expected; but later. Not then. Not now. In 1987 he gave me a gift. A book of daily Affirmations. Over the last 10 years, when in doubt, I still refer to this little book that I cherish. It usually brings me into focus. Not this time. There is a passage on Aug. 2nd. that read: " I can always choose to run from the waves with the illusion that I'll stay safe. Or I can fight the waves furiously & cling to the belief that I can win. But while I'm busy fighting and being safe, I'll miss out on one of life's feasts- the exquisite experience of surrender." Well on this one, I had to fight the waves of desperation to make it through the day. Without Daddy how can I be safe? My head went directly into the sand. This is where he taught me well again; when the going gets rough... RUN. Mother to you I apologize for not being there in the begining. Shelly, to you I say thank you for always being here. Daddy understood. He knew that in the end I would come through. He always did. And I'm just like him. Enough about me and my fears. Now I would like to share some memories and experiences I was lucky enough to have with this complex person. I feel privileged to have been fathered by Grady Toney: even luckier to have him as a Daddy. Oh Granny!! How many times did he scare you? He'd take me by the feet, tumble me in the air & catch me on the flip side. Granny would screem "You're gonna flip her liver!!!" He did it as much to scare you as he did to make me laugh. My favorite infant photo is daddy playing cards, feeding me with my bottle wedged between 2 of his shirt buttons. He was my hero. And secondary caretaker. I always felt special for being his oldest. I wasn't. He adored us all. After working 12 hard hours on that rig, he had to have been tired. Sometimes he would work doubles. But when he came home, he was a long awaited playmate. And play we did! There wasn't a local carnival, fair, or circus we missed. Holidays were the best. Especialy Christmas. I think he enjoyed them as much as we did. His enjoyment came from our expressions of enthusiasm. When I was 25, he wouldn't allow me to come home for 3 days while he hung lights. Then when I got there, I had to close my eyes so he could watch me "squeal" when he lit up the place. I told Mother this was stupid. I was a married adult. I don't "squeal" anymore. Wrong! I squealed! And not for Daddy. I squealed with delight. As a youngster, living in West Texas in a trailer house no larger than todays motor homes, I thought we were rich. This little girl thought her Daddy would, could & DID buy her anything she wanted. Now I realize how rich we really were. We had the riches the wealthiest would envy. I thought all my little friends wanted my Daddy to be their Daddy. Following rigs, one teacher in particular must have felt sorry for me. Somehow I talked her into putting a color 8x10 picture of Daddy on the board in front of our classroom. I wanted to share him. Can you imagine his surprise when he came to pick me up early for a Dr's app't? He and Mother hadn't missed that picture out of the album. When Mother wasn't with us, secretly I'd tell my little chums that he was my brother. I thought he was so handsome and young looking. This is a thought I kept. As an adolescent, I thought my place was to be an appendage at the end of his hand. After all, every woman wanted him and it was my duty to let them know he had my Mother. As an asthmatic, in Tripoli, more than once, he packed me & the rocker in our little Fiat station wagon. Took me to the beach to rock some cool Meditrainian air into my lungs. Suprisingly enough, or not so suprisingly, the teenage years were a different story. He ran off more than one of my dates. Daddy was not a small man. Sometimes he just intimidated them. Sometimes he was more blunt. Only the bravest survived dating his daughters, and those boys were quaking in their boots. Bless his heart. Probably wasn't easy being a Daddy to 4 teenage daughters. Don't you know then, that the rigs looked like a refuge? He was a certainly a prankster. Had a joke all the time. Don't think we ever hung up the phone without him asking "Have you heard this one?" Then there were the pranks. I won't tell on myself here. Suffice to say he got me going a few times. Then he'd knock on my head, and say "The lights are on, Anybody home?" Oh Daddy. I will miss you so much. Mother has been diagnosed with a devastating disease. He did things then I didn't know he was capable. His love and devotion to my Mother overtook everything. I watched the sweetest love story unfold- untold. He would walk, talk, and breath for her. I'm the luckiest person in the world to witness such a love affair. He took care of his bussiness here. He went first. That's what he wanted. He did it his way. To reflect on my Daddy is more than I can bear. But, since I must, these are words I would use to describe him: Sense of humor Honesty Pride Perpetual prankster Integrity Loyalty Fun Love of country Love of family and most of all,Love for my MOTHER Thank You

Sheila Toney Broussard
Daddy did not like for us to cry. At the end he told my mother. Do not cry, there will be plenty of time for that later. If anyone else cried, they were not to come back. I didn�t cry in Houston. Shelly told me he was very proud of that. Luckily, he gave us permission to cry, after he was gone. We always did what he told us. So we have and will spend time crying. My best times with my father were in this last year. There were three times I went with him to Houston. These were the very best times I had with him. The last time we were in Houston, I told him it might be the last time I would see him. I told him I felt like I should say something important. He said, "I know it is uncomfortable. I�m sorry." "No", I said, "I want to know things like what are your favorite memories." "Let�s not do that", was his reply. "My favorite memory from overseas", I said ignoring his remark, "is of Leptis Magna". ( North Africa.) I went on to describe the great times I had there with family and on school field trips. "My favorite memory", Dad joined it, "was when Mom and I built you girls that bedroom". He was talking of having made a huge, flowing canopy of pink silk with flowers. They had lined a all of cabinets with the same material. That had been a marvelous day for all of us. That was my dad�s favorite memory from overseas. He continued, "My favorite memory before overseas is the crows". "Oh yes", I said, "you made a trap to catch them right?" He explained he had found the birds in a nest and had raused them for us in a cage until they were ready to fly. We three girls were thrilled with having those birds. I�m so glad I asked to hear his favorite memories. I never would have guessed that these would have been his best. It touched me so, to know that his best times in life were when he did something to thrill us, three girls. One he didn�t mention that I bet he would agree is a great memory was when he drcorated our living room for Christmas. Misty was about two and gold streamers and lihts were everywhere. Daddy had thrilled another generation with his magic. Daddy never really grew up. He had a good time throughoout his whole life. That is what I will always remember him for the magic in brought into my life and so many others. He was going to write each of us a letter, but was too weak. Daddies, go home and write your letters to your daughters. Don�t wait. Life is but a shadow. Whatever you want to pass along, you need to do that now. When I started singing with a band in Bahrain, Daddy teased me saying he wan�t sure he wanted to hear me. Said he had heard me singing in the shower. He turned out to be my biggest fan. He has me sing to him in the car, at home, just anyplace. He loved all the CCR and the other fast ones the band played. At THE MALTA REUNION, this June, just six weeks ago. He wanted me to sing along with the Kariokee. After years of a dwindling range of my voice, I had to settle with learning one and singing to Daddy in his hotel room in Houston, the last time I saw him alive. I couldn�t find a fast song and I certainly was out of key, on a few notes, but he loved it. In St John of the Cross, it says, In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone. Daddy passed that test with flying colors. In the book, REMEMBERANCE OF FATHER, it says, "the cruelest thing that can happen to any of us , is if our parents are dying and don�t reach out to us. That is the last and most wonerful thing Daddy did for me. He let me in, held me, told me he loved me, and let me bring him sandwiches and juice. There is scripture I want to share. It says......do not be uniformed ......about those who have died, so that you may grieve as others....who have no hope ... we believe that Jesus died and rose again.......so through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have died. For the Lord himself,....will descend from heaven, .....Then we who are alive.... will be caught up in the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the air; and so we will be with Lord forever. Therefore encourage and comfort one another with these words. When Shelly called and told me Daddy had died , I said Praise God. I smiled for hours, because he went the way he wanted to go and in the time he wanted to go. The day before Daddy died, the nurse said, his heart is so strong, he is not going to die this week. But the lord knew what my daddy wanted, and he got a miracle. He passed on within 12 hours. He went in his sleep, just the way all of us would want to go. Even with the tears. there is a part of me that smiles because Daddy is where I am going. Before he died I told him, Daddy there is singing in heaven, but there is laughter too. I really believe God tells jokes up there. Now when I get there, I still won�t be able to tell him one that he hasn�t heard because he will have heard all of the rest of the jokes of the universe.

Shelly Toney Maroney Ridgell
In 1600 George Herbert wrote: " One father is worth more than a hundred teachers." Our father taught us a lot, most of the lessons, we're still learning. He taught us the only time that matters, is time doing for or being with loved ones. We will always remember our weekly "game nights" which we hated as teenagers & treasured as adults. He taught us that marriage is for keeps, through the good times and the bad. My parents 45 year marriage grew stronger with each day that they had together. Daddy taught me to sing when I was scared, whether it was Woody Woodpecker before a shot, or during the nightly bombings in '67. His love of buying the gadgets he couldn't resist, taught us there is nothing we could not do: drive a backhoe, winterize a home, or carry 3 truckfulls of library books. He taught us that no man is perfect, but that we should recognize our own faults. He taught us to stand on our own. My father was always fair and just, though not always sympathetic to the problems we caused for ourselves. He encouraged us to do better, and be better. He taught us to enjoy life. 'Till the last; there was still a little boy who loved to play practical jokes. He taught us that you're never too old to learn. Every year he grew into a better husband and father. The patience he learned, added to the joy of spending time with his grandkids. In the end he taught us to face death as honest and bravely as he faced life.